Got back earlier from a ministerial retreat center recommended by my DS and it was one of the most powerful times I’ve had ever.
A lot of using classical spiritual disciplines in a disconnected place. Anne was a part of this as well, but I am not one to put words out there for my partner.
Also felt I heard from God about some issues I have been facing as well about the church and vision. There were several focus points that were re-confirmed and some additional stuff.
Coming back I already have several teaching/preaching areas that are shifting. In addition to gathering approaches (learning from the previous week.)
(1) The book The Emotionally Healthy Church fits right in with the focus on becoming – gift-based (one of the 8 organic health factors of Christian Schwartz).
I like what TD Jakes also says about gifts, there is a difference between gifts and anointing for a particular ministry and place of ministry…need to ruminate on this sermon of his I heard this week more.
(2) Sabbath and work rhythms. (look in next post for a book recommendation…lots of thoughts not ready to write right.)
But, about the emo healthy church, it helped me understand others and my emotional reactions and maturity levels. There are several things that I could just not get regarding reactions – e.g. Gossiping Nellies never made sense to me (see my post on Gossip by the ‘godly’ it makes MORE sense in light of emo children) – I didn’t get why these folks never see/hear how it reveals so much negative about them and blinds them to healing. Well, this book helped clarify it for me some and may become a sermon series at Mercy Church stay tuned!
If you are stuck in growth – (yes we know you know your head stuff, you can “act” christian, and you know your life-keys – but are STILL STUCK – It may mean you need to deal with emotional health instead of “performing and hiding” (Greg Boyd’s Repenting of Religion Mantra). If you are looking for general leadership book this one cuts to some core issues very well. It also makes a LOT of sense out of church life when you have all the other health areas in focus.
Keep in mind Paul’s call to “grow up” in the faith. That includes our emotions. Pete (author) makes a big point of the false piety that denies emotions is a sinful trap that sucks life. We are to grow to be like Christ and to ignore the role of emotion or deny them is a dangerous trap that will cause us to burst out in great ugliness…
Here’s just a A LITTLE bit of the book… you may find yourself in these, the key is asking where are you? There are assessments (sermon series possibly brewing here…) I highlighted some of the (-/+) traits that go with the level of emo maturity. The author notes this does not track with age…
Interpretation Guide: Levels of Emotional Maturity
Emotional infant. Like a physical infant, I look for other people to take care of me
more than I look to care for them. I often have difficulty in describing and experiencing my feelings in healthy ways and rarely enter the emotional world of others. I am consistently driven by a need for instant gratification, often using others as objects to meet my needs, and am unaware of how my behavior is effecting/hurting them. People sometimes perceive me as inconsiderate, insensitive, and self-centered.Emotional children. Like a physical child, when life is going my way and I am receiving all the things I want and need, I am content and seem emotionally well-adjusted. However, as soon as disappointment, stress, tragedy, or anger enter the picture, I quickly unravel inside. I interpret disagreements as a personal offense and am easily hurt by others. When I don’t get my way, I often complain, throw an emotional tantrum, withdraw, manipulate, drag my feet, become sarcastic, or take revenge. I have difficulty calmly discussing with others what I want and expect from them in a mature loving way.
Emotional adolescents. Like a physical adolescent, I know the right ways I should
behave in order to “fit in”mature, adult society. I can feel threatened and alarmed inside when I am offered constructive criticism, quickly becoming defensive. I subconsciously keep records on the love I give out, so I can ask for something in return at a later time.When I am in conflict, I might admit some fault in the matter, but I will insist on demonstrating the guilt of the other party, proving why they are more to blame. Because of my commitment to self-survival, I have trouble really listening to another person’s pain, disappointments, or needs without becoming preoccupied with myself.(I suspect this and the child age is where a lot of American evangelicals are…)
Emotional adults. I can respect and love others without having to change them or
becoming critical and judgmental. I don’t expect anyone to be perfect in meeting my relational needs, whether it be my spouse, parents, friends, boss, or pastor. I love and appreciate people for who they are as whole individuals, the good and the bad, and not for what they can give me or how they behave. I take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, goals, and actions. When under stress, I don’t fall into a victim mentality or a blame game. I can state my own beliefs and values to those who disagree with me—without becoming adversarial. I am able to accurately self-assess
my limits, strengths, and weaknesses and freely discuss them with others. Deeply in tune with my own emotions and feelings, I can move into the emotional worlds of others, meeting them at the place of their feelings, needs, and concerns. I am deeply convinced that I am absolutely loved by Christ, that I have nothing to prove.
And this is a great article form the author on the top ten signs of unhealthy spirituality