Leadership, blessing and gossip OR Gossip and the ‘godly’

Rom 12:17-18 “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

What seeds are you sowing with your words?

I have been reflecting on leadership, blessing and gossip. As a lead pastor I get my fair share from many sources. The change is learning to handle it better. Particularly when it’s from those you would expect truth, loyalty, and leadership from. Not this week, but later this month I am going to a continuing education training for pastors on conflict resolution.

Leaders have to make tough choices based on sustaining and moving forward (or correcting) the vision of the organism, organization, church, etc. Called to help people grow is tough. When you represent a group, it’s even harder. Some, instead of growing through honesty, resist the learnings, fight and in the worst case instead of learning and growing, turn to gossip. Often it’s a simple choice to do with the direction of emotional energy when uncomfortable: gossip or growth.

Gossip is easily identified.

1- It is spread to everyone but the source of their concern. In this day that includes: phone, facebook, website, blog, etc.
2 -There is a playing up of perceived wrongs (instead of reflecting on learnings in a serious way – that is not in the gossip circle or “prayer request” – these are classic church gossip partners, molesting prayer for gossip).
3 -There is a distortion of the facts (thanks to our emotions given freedom without the control of the Spirit in the case of gossip). OR leaving out key facts. Or They just don’t have all the facts.
4 -The demonic of bitterness sets in and rules.
5 – The attempted seeds of division are sown.

(Matthew 5:21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, [a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister [b] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca, [c]‘ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person; then come and offer your gift. ”
-Division is the fruit instead of vision/mission.

Gossip kills.

How does one respond?
1-I think the first response is prayer and blessing in the face of gossip, possible lies, distortion, and bitterness. That allows grace to redeem the one in the downward spiral. (matt 7, rom 12)
2-Direct confrontation with the gossip. This can simply mean saying, “you are gossiping…”
3-A release of facts (if necessary) keep in mind the gossip is usually (a) distorting the facts presented (b) only has or is reporting a fraction of them – those that make them look better than really being honest. In the church this is the “self-making saint/martyr” approach. People STILL buy this? Don’t if it’s in the context of gossip (see first list).
4- Hope for change/reconciliation or parting of ways.

Matthew 18:15 “If a brother or sister sins, [a] go and point out the fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ [b] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be [c] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be [d] loosed in heaven.

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

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